Keep Me Accountable - Days 31 & 32

This is it, folks. The finish line is in sight. I told you all that this contest and this drive to keep me accountable would end on April 30th. Tomorrow is it. Deadline time.

I won't be working tomorrow, but there's a whole lotta other stuff already on my list to accomplish. I've got to make sure I get some writing in somewhere! Drastic measures must be taken between now and Midnight on Friday, April 30.

I'll post my progress.  Beyond word count, I just hope I can tell you I am at "THE END" of this book. I must plow forward and write those last true scenes.

I did write yesterday. It was fun, I had 45 minutes of free time and I used it. I actually got carried away rewriting an existing scene, but, the scene placement is helping propel the story forward. Just what I needed. An hour was upon me and I had to stop. The word count increased a little.

Current Word Count 56, 557.

I've got about 6 more scenes to write. I can do it, I just need God to carve out some time in my day, whether it be middle of the night, or whenever, to accomplish this goal. I know if this is His timing and part of His plan, then His work will be done.

Keep Me Accountable - Days 29 & 30

No progress on the home front...

Tonight is our ACFW W.O.R.D. meeting at Sugar Hill United Methodist Church. If you're in the area, we're planning a wonderful meeting with our guest speaker Steeple Hill Author Debby Giusti. Find out more on our website for WORD.

Oh, and I blogged Sunday on FAITH. You can laugh at this, but the Agent I mentioned in said blog post was probably notified by a google alert... and she "tweeted" about the blog post. Check out the comments section after you read about the dream... Oh, and you can laugh with me. Sometimes I forget about this vacuum of information we post to, where anyone in the world can see what you're doing.

I'll report back with a word count later... now, off to work!

Keep Me Accountable - Day 25, 26, 27, 28

Are you familiar with the teacup?

Not the one you drink from, but the carnival ride, "teacup."  It may be called something else where you live. It may be called something different where I live... but I refer to it as the teacup. My daughter loves to ride it on the carousel at the mall. You sit in it and spin yourself around, as fast as you can, while the carousel is running.

This week has been one long, but good, teacup ride...

Day 25 - I don't remember if I wrote. I do remember it was my husband's 34th birthday -

Happy Birthday, Hon...  We went to dinner and got home late. The kiddos were with us and my daughter begged for a pink balloon. Of course, the restaurant had one and graciously gave it to her.

Day 26 - I don't think I wrote that day either. It seems the day was a rush from beginning to end. Thursday after work, I baked a cake for my husband's birthday, with my daughter's help. God bless my dear husband that he doesn't get caught up in the details of life. Some people may be upset that their spouse didn't do something special to recognize their birthday... and that the special something came a day late.

Day 27 - I don't think I wrote that day either. Am I repeating myself here? I do remember working until 8pm that night. I was working a later shift, so I was only supposed to work until 7pm. But when you've been up since six and running wild trying to get everything accomplished BEFORE you arrived at the office, working an hour over tends to make you feel a little put out. Oh, well, duty calls and I tend to be willing to answer that call of duty since those paychecks help put food on the table and support my writing career.

Day 28 - I didn't write today. I was back at work, anticipating a storm system that could generate a whole lotta work for my office. I did accomplish something, though. I read entries for a couple of contests I'm judging. Reading for one contest helped remind me where I've been in my writing. Reading for the other contest shows me where I want to go.

Which is why I've got to get back to writing and let everything else go for one more week!

I've been riding this insane teacup for the last four days. It's time to step off, regroup, and get back into a normal, more calm schedule.

AND FINISH THIS BOOK!!!

What have you all been up to this week?

Oh, and here's my current word count:  56,460

Keep Me Accountable - Day 4

I'm so proud of my new coffee pot! When time allows, I'll post a pic. It's nothing fancy, just new and you know how new things feel...

Previous Word Count 39,488
Current Word Count 39,539
Target Word Count 60,000

**
I wrote a few words... these may have popped in via osmosis as I can't remember when I actually wrote anything, LOL!

**
Today, I slept in and I don't remember hitting the snooze button... Did I mention that since I had my last child, my mind, my memory, has slightly altered? Sometimes I even say things that sound weird. Part of my brain must have checked out when I delivered my little boy.

Oh well, just so long as it wasn't my creative side, I'll be okay.

**

Have a great writing day!! I'm taking my laptop with me to work and hope to write during lunch... how about you?


******************** Join me in this writing rally!!! **********************

If you would like to help keep me accountable and be entered in my contest for a $10 Starbucks gift card + a special surprise from me, leave a comment here. The winner will be announced at the end of this contest April 30. If you go to my post on FAITH you'll see I've posted instructions for the contest. I blog every Sunday on FAITH and will give a weekly update there as well. So those Sunday comments also count toward the contest.

But Only Blogger comments will be counted... Facebook comments don't count.

Thank you for your support!

Slice of Life: Marathon Saturday

Today has been a marathon kind of day.

No, I don't mean I ran a marathon. Pulleeeze! I'd have to be running for my life to attempt one of those and then I'd probably question if running was the only way for me to save my life.

When I say marathon, I mean I broke down and did some much needed housework. I swept the floors - needed to vacuum but ran out of time for that chore - I dusted - I did the laundry - I folded laundry ( I separate these chores out because I'm notorious for starting something and not finishing it ) - I went to WalMart.

I was actually calm for the most part - of my trip to Walmart. Usually, the adventure at Walmart is one that leaves me flustered and downright irritated. Dollface was running up the isles as usual, but I kept calm. I suppose my hormones weren't on overdrive today and that was how I was able to remain tranquil amidst the ruckus of a Saturday at WallyWorld.

And then, after a full day of doing all of the above.... drum roll please, I cooked!

Yes, I cooked. That is a feat in itself. By the end of the day my back and legs were aching so bad I just knew I'd collapse come bedtime. Dollface was still running off some kind of nuclear energy I don't comprehend. My mother claims at 4 years old I didn't have that much energy so I blame her father's side of the family for her 100mph speed. (I blame them, kindly and I'm smiling - I wouldn't trade my Dollface and her energy for anything!)

As for writing, I did manage to edit some early scenes I'd written and re-write a new one. I'm getting closer to the end, but am even closer to the big point of the story where everything falls apart. In fiction, that's the pinnacle we as writers are climbing to achieve.

All in all, today I learned if I remain calm, things will be handled better than if I blow my top and then feel bad about it later. I am thankful for my job, thankful for my family, for my home and that I am able to find small amounts of the day to write. In the end, being thankful for whatever God has given us, is the main thing to pull us into a new day.

Dollface Starts Pre-K

Last night and this morning have been a struggle.

After one last hoo-rah at church last night - where the Varsity catered their yummy burgers and fries and the church gym was full of games, giant blow up obstacle courses - it was time to start organizing for Monday: my daughter's first day of Pre-K.

Sigh....

Of course I got in a tizzy, as is my personality. I was flitting around the house, getting ill because time had crept up on me and I'd known this day was coming for several months now. Still, the day was upon me and I wasn't ready. I snapped at my poor girl more than I should have only because I was so nervous myself about her starting this new season of her life.

Finally, I got focused. Put aside the ironing that didn't have to be done right then sat down with baby girl and we decided on the perfect outfit to wear. I knew I had bought more clothes for this school year but realized I was still quite behind on my washing... same story, different day. Luckily, we had a brand new outfit and new puppy dog bows she wanted to wear.

We took care of baths last night and finally got in the bed an hour later than I intended. Of course I couldn't sleep, stayed up until midnight, knowing I was going to hate myself for it the next day.

Groggy & reluctant, I woke up this morning and pulled myself out of bed, knowing I couldn't be late. Tardiness is frowned upon in the school system and I was going to have to shake off my procrastination for good.

Bless her, baby girl woke up in a good mood. She was ready to start school. She had her orange juice and granola bar (a routine we've been on for a while now) and then was ready to get dressed. She was excited about wearing the new clothes we'd bought her last weekend, and topped the outfit off with her puppy dog bows. She let me fix her hair and even brushed her teeth! (Folks, this is PROOF God was really around this morning as that was a pure miracle!)

Baby Girl slung her backpack over her shoulders and out the door we went. We rode quietly in the car and I made sure to tell her how proud I was of how she got dressed this morning and what an awesome day she was going to have.

I walked her into her class room, unbelieving how quickly this time had come. I forgot my camera but after the teacher got her seated at her table, I snapped one picture of Baby Girl about to start her day. I captured her sweet little dollface as she looked at something beside me... the uncertainty in her eyes nearly broke my heart, but I knew, I reminded myself, she was going to do spectacular!

I wanted to stay, but knew it was nearing eight, the time class starts. I should have lingered outside the window a little longer, to wave at her... yet my heart was so heavy, I knew I was about to break. I couldn't let her see me as anything except confident. If she saw my weakness, she'd start to worry. I waved and followed another set of parents out of the room. The mom ahead of me smiled and I knew she was probably feeling the same way I did.

I made it to the car before the first tear fell. I blame it on horomones, but really, pregnant or not, I would've cried.

An hour and a half has passed since I dropped her off. I'm dying to go back to the school and peak in on her. I'm thinking they've already been outside to play by this time, already had their breakfast snack. I worry she won't eat enough and will be hungry...

But I've prayed that God will be with her and I know He is. I can rest with that knowledge and look forward to seeing her afterwards when I know she'll be full of stories about her first day of Pre-K.

Be strong and of good courage for He is with you....

Slice of Life: How I usually feel...

Thank you Aunt Teri for this humorous and sometimes true outlook on life!

Christmas Cards

... I love receiving them. I love sending them. This year, however, Christmas snuck up on me and I didn't have any Christmas photos made of us, or just my daughter. And by the time I purchased Christmas Cards to send, it was the Saturday before Christmas. What was was the point of sending any this year? Some of the cards may not have reached their destination until after Christmas. Plus, I still didn't have time to dedicate to addressing them. Hopefully, next year, I can find the Christmas cards I bought this year and send them next year. :)

I'm not here to whine about what I didn't get to this year. What I wanted to address is: what do you do with the Christmas cards when Christmas has passed? Find out more on the FAITH Blog...

The SOS for PMS: Practical Help and Relief for Moms by Mary Byers

Christy here:

One day this week one of our managers brought a sales person around our department, and was introducing her to each one of us. The manager didn't say anything wrong to me, but it was what she said to my co-worker that bothered me. She mentioned to the salesperson that "Julia has been with us forever..." or something of that nature (Names have been changed to protect the innocent!) Anyway, it set something off inside of me. I thought, Humph. Even though I left for 2 and a half years, I came back! And I was here longer than HER! Thank the Lord, I didn't say this out loud, but I did mention something to Julia after the ladies left. However I admitted I was just being ultra sensitive and that I was being silly.

Am I always this sensitive??? you may be wondering. No. Three weeks out of the month, I'm normal. I'm happy to be a wife and mom. I'm thankful for my job, especially in these hard economic times. But that one, premenstrual week - WATCH OUT!!!

When I found out this book "The SOS for PMS" existed I literally said: "Praise God!"
As I read Mary's book, I realized I was not alone in my struggles. Things are so bad some times, my husband knows to steer clear of me. I related to so many of the examples in the book it was scary, but also made me feel more at ease that no, it is not just my personality that makes me act like this, it's something many women struggle with. And it does get worse after you have children!

If you suffer from PMS or know a woman who does, I highly recommend this book. There are tips on how to handle those tenacious times of the month. Mary offers advice that may be obvious after you read it, but may not have been something you considered. While I was a stay at home mom, I never thought of calling up a girlfriend to see if she could help me out during the "rough days." But that's something we should be doing! It's better to get help from your friends than to explode on your children.

I'm learning to watch the weeks that go by and recognize the times that I'm susceptible to PMS. If I admit that it's the problem, I can almost tackle it better. However the key to handling PMS is realizing we are not alone in this. Although I suggest getting help from friends and family during these times, we should ultimately reach out to God. He is our true hope and only solution. Mary gives great tips, but keeps the focus on God, and that's the most important
truth in this book.

I'm running a contest to give away a FREE copy of this book! Please comment now through Monday October 6th. I'll draw the winner on Monday. Good luck!!!



About the Book:



In her latest book, Mary explores an often frustrating topic, the symptoms of PMS, and offers practical advice and encouragement for mothers. Readers will find comfort in the stories shared by other moms, realizing that they are not alone in their struggles with PMS.

With this book, you will find suggestions designed to inspire healthier lifestyles, relationships, and daily choices for all women.

Gather any group of moms together and the topic of frustrating PMS symptoms rises up in conversation along with the guilt and concern about its effects on family members.

Now Mary Byers, author of The Mother Load, offers mothers encouragement, help, and camaraderie as she shares:

~women's stories-the good, bad, and the hopeful

~overlooked symptoms and how to manage them

~foods and activities to avoid or indulge in

God's first aid for stress, depression, and anxiety a call for help-how husbands can come to the aid of their wives

This gathering of useful advice and shared experiences will comfort readers who have ever felt alone in their PMS plight and will inspire healthier lifestyles, relationships, and daily choices for all women.

To read an excerpt go here:





About Mary:

Mary Byers is a professional speaker and writer whose passion for transforming lives is evident in every project she takes on. In her first book with Harvest House Publishers, The Mother Load: How to Meet Your Own Needs While Caring for Your Family, Byers teaches women how to take care of themselves so that they can nurture a happy, healthy family.

The mother of two lively children, she offers down-to-earth suggestions, spiritual truths, and real-life advice on how to juggle family responsibilities while creating a balanced life through supportive friendships, stress-relieving laughter, regular exercise, rejuvenating solitude, and an intimate relationship with the Lord. The founder of Word Works, Byers graduated from Indiana University with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Telecommunications. She is also a Certified Association Executive. Byers and her husband, Stuart, reside in Illinois with their two children.

To learn more about Mary visit her website at www.marybyers.com.


A Word from the Author

"It’s my hope that this book will bring help, hope and healing to moms who suffer from PMS. It’s been a source of despair in my own life but things are looking up now that I’ve developed my own coping plan. Those I interviewed for this book shared intimately about their own battles and I believe their stories, along with that of Callie’s (the main character in the book) will convince other women that it is possible to change their current response to PMS and encourage them to start today.”

It's time...

Time for what?

(Photo taken by A. McCabe off Flickr.com)

...To get healthy!

Not to lose weight necessarily... I definitely need to... but to simply get healthy.








The Jack LaLanne Power Juicer is out from under the cupboard. Saturday, my daughter helped me juice a carrot, apple and a handful of strawberries. It was delicious!





I'm trying to eat more salads and replace veggies (raw is better) reduce my meat and potatoes intake. It isn't easy.





Last night we ordered from the restaurant Chili's. It would've been so easy to order the high fat sandwich and fries. Instead, I ordered the Quesadilla Explosion salad. Yes, it does have "salad" in its title, but from what I understand, it isn't THAT good for you. But I'm trying. I'm taking baby steps. I just have to keep it up.

So in an effort to keep up with my progress, I'm going to try to start making healthy foods. And when I do, I'll post a recipe, just like the one below. There'll be fattening stuff in them too, but like I said. I'm taking baby steps. I'm




How about you? Are you making any changes in your life to improve it?

My Last Try Draft

Despite last week's full days of Vacation Bible School - which was so much fun, I'd like to add - I have come out of the busy fog I've been in and AM WRITING, WRITING, WRITING!

Praise God! I'm writing!

It's like the story I've been revising to completion, has suddenly come together! I've written a few of the last scenes, just not the final yet. I've plumped up the beginning and have been plowing through toward the middle. Sometimes, the middle is the hardest, but I'm focusing on the goal - focusing on the black moment and have written a piece of it. I've titled this document my "Last Try Draft."

Why call it my Last Try? Because until this point, I've been totally frustrated with this story. It was good enough to gain an editor's attention and she asked for a full. But since last fall I've been floundering. I finally decided a few weeks ago that I couldn't work on this story any more. I was determined to give it One Last Try and if that didn't work, that was it. I was at split ends about it. Frustrated because I'd finished the story. Sad because I didn't have the energy to plow through the needed revisions or re-write. Mad at myself because I didn't work hard enough on it when I had more time.

But now, I'm back in the saddle. This horse is gonna finish whether we're racing through the finish line or crawling. Thank you Jesus for making me wait! This revision is going to be the best. And one day, it will be published!

I may be ninety, but it's going to happen...

A Mother's day Funny

Isn't this cute!


Downey made it Wednesday night in her Missions Friends class at church.

When we first left the class, it had two plastic bottle tops glued to either side of the cup. This made it look like a wheelbarrow. Of course by the time we got home, all ten minutes later, the wheels were gone. Its still cute, though.

What's funny? Well, when I picked Downey up from her class, she showed me what she made and I oohhed and ahhhed over it, because it was cute! I wasn't being fake.


But Downey informed me, her little flower in the wheelbarrow was for her Daddy.

So when Daddy came home that evening, I told her to show him what she made HIM for Mother's Day. And she did. "Look what I made you, Daddy!"


By Mother's Day, I was helping Miss Ruby with our Sunday School class. The kids were making cards for their mom. Of course Downey was in one of her ill-red-headed moods(These are moods brought on for no apparent reason, but my deep rooted belief is there is something about our red hair that makes our tempers volatile from time to time).

Downey didn't want to participate in the class, and sat on the floor a couple of times, crying and being fussy. Even the other kids weren't sure what was up with her. Finally, when she did come to the table, she chose a pink piece of construction paper and started to color on it. She announced that her card was intended for her Daddy. Fooey on Mommy.

Ruby chuckled and said, "Well, maybe she'll make you something on Father's Day."

I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

Little Darling & her Daddy

Home in my Heart

This may look like a peculiar and worn stairway to you, but to me, it takes me toward a path I traveled the first 20 years of my life.




To me, this wooden rail and stairs is not old. Its new. The last time I walked onto that rocky Lake Lanier beach, this structure wasn't built.

The rocks weren't there. We never had the money to invest in securing the erosion of this bank.

You may think this yard needs weeding, but this isn't part of anyone's yard. It's Corps property. Part of Lake Lanier shore exposed when the water levels went down and are slowly returning.

The new owners of this property have made some nice additions. This walkway and the rock was needed. It was something my grandparents weren't able to do. My grandmother moved from this location when I married, at 22. I've missed this property ever since.








Look closely at this picture.

Nestled behind the trees is the house I grew up in. Behind the thickness of the vines and ivy is a lovely lake cottage, built in the fifties. The new owners have built a deck around the front of it and maintained it. This quaint gray house belongs to someone else. But to me, it will always be home in my heart.

Here I am, four weeks into it...

And I'm at split ends.

Sheesh.

I had such high hopes. But here I am, four weeks into it and I remember why I so badly wanted out.

God blessed me and got me out.

Then he blessed me again and let me back in.

Writer's need a day job. Any writer will tell you that.

Well, I've got my day job, now where's the writing?



Right now I'm in a hotel room and tomorrow I'll start a two day class. Unfortunately, it has nothing to do with writing and everything to do with the company that issues my paycheck. I do the math and I wonder how we managed as long as we did.

I keep reminding myself that the more I work, the more I can fund my dream... Even though, working takes away from my dream - and more, it takes time away from my family.

My daughter is thriving. She is with family and they are good to her. Some days I look at her and wish I'd done a better job.


Sometimes, I still just want five minutes to myself.


God help me, when will I ever be happy?


I feel myself pulled back... Toward the vaccuum. It will scrape your flesh until that's all you feel and that's all you think about. I had cleaned up so well, but as every minute passes inside that tiny cubicle, headset sucking the life out of me with every call, I feel myself letting old habits return.

And the Casting Crowns song "Slow Fade" is always reminding me why I can't let myself be lead toward the popular, toward the world... Be careful little feet where you go, it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow...



God has a plan. And He's working on me, through me, even when I don't realize it.

I've been thinking a lot about what I want to write. Who's my audience? It's like I'd be writing a lie, to write so clean, for the publisher I thought I'd be a good fit for, the one I pitched to and received an invitation. One I haven't revisited...

Fear?

Of course I'm afraid.


I want to deliver a big story in a small package, but I don't think the people I want to reach would pick up a book from the publisher I've considered targeting.

I'm a Christian, but I'm flawed.

Big time.

That's the character I want to portray.

Those are the ones I want to reach. People who are ten steps behind me. In places I've been before. Can you lend someone a hand from a story? Can you encourage someone to grow from a book of fiction?

I can't, but I know God can.

There is a God and you're not Him

Precept Ministries International held a National Women's Convention in Chattanooga, Tennessee August 2-4, 2002. I went with my mother, aunt, and two cousins. I've been going through the notes I took and I wanted to share with you my notes when Jan Silvious spoke.

These are notes, so some sentences may not be complete. There will be her quotes, followed by scripture she referenced. I intend to study her teaching and the scriptures listed and would suggest anyone reading this, that finds it interesting do the same.


Notes from Jan Silvious's lecture:

Healing - Matthew 6:6 - 34
God loves the way He made Us - Psalm 139:13, 56:13
Sins - 1John 1:9, Hebrew 7:25
Helper - John 14:25
God's Plans - Jeremiah 29:11

1Peter 2:9
Romans 8:28
Zephaniah 3:17

Quoting Jan Silvious:
Jesus comes into your life: Purpose: Base your worth on what God says - no one else.
Goings on in your life - God loves you, honors, you will be okay.
Purpose on everything that happens - the last chapter has not been written yet.
What MIGHT have been does not exist.

There is a God and you're not Him.
***************************

Christy here:
I guess I needed to read that for myself again and share it. I can't solve the problems around me. Sometimes the advice I give is wrong. My thoughts aren't always positive. Most times, I have to remind myself that God is in control and surrender it all to Him. I don't know why life takes the turns it has. I know why I made the choices I did, but I can't change those choices now.

I'm not perfect and I certainly hope no one sees me like that.

How can I stay clean in this dirty environment? I don't know. Sometimes I feel like I'm choking, that my lungs are filling up and crowding out my heart, and I'm not even a smoker.

It's hard to avoid the second-hand smoke when the environment you're bound to is filled with those who choose to light up.

We must all continue to remember that "There is a God and you're NOT Him."

ACFW Conference - Getting My Head On Straight

Yesterday, while finishing off the remaining Cheetos Puffs, I wallowed in self-pity. Doubting everything, I decided I was foolish to return to work in January and was nearly in tears about things I could not change. Convinced I don't have what it takes to be a writer, that I was fooling everyone, especially myself, I was seriously considering canceling my trip to ACFW.

Luckily, being concerned about others is a high priority of mine. First and foremost, I'd disappoint my ACFW roommate, because I told her way back in May that I was going and we'd room together. Two weeks doesn't leave much time to find a decent replacement. Also, a non-refundable airline ticket can be the kick in the pants every poor coward needs.

I realized, as I polished off a piece of the white cake I made my husband (from scratch), that it was simply that Devil Satan paying me another visit. I've had to tell him to get the heck out of my house for the last several weeks now. I can see him working on every one around me, but they're not writers.

The devil infiltrates our thoughts and makes us doubt. God gives us an opportunity and Satan wants to trip us before we can reach the door, make us fall and break our legs, cripple us to keep us from fulfilling God's will.

This morning, I woke up and wrote. I pulled out an old manuscript I started a few years ago and realized it would work perfectly as book 2 in the series I've formulated. That means I've got good starts on all three books. Book one is finished, I'm rewriting it to be more CBA friendly. Apparently, I'm some kind of writer, or I wouldn't have the ideas I do and I certainly wouldn't be able to put them on paper.

However, I keep coming back to the fact that this has been one heck of a year for me. I've let other people read my stuff. What? You mean my writing isn't as excellent as my mom said it was? But I have potential? That's good. Good, good, good...

Critique partners are good, but I have to learn to handle the critiques from them, the contests I enter, the published authors I let read snippets of my work. No one has told me to stop writing. I'm not sure any one would, but I have gotten positive and useful feed back in return and that is what I must concentrate on, not the "I cants, I wonts, I'll never --"

Tonight, while checking email when I should've been writing on the book, I ran across Gina Conroy's blog and this article by Camy Tang on "Conference Confidence." Read it and come back to me.

Wasn't that a good article? I link to Camy, so you should check out the wealth of information she shares on her website. Anyway, my point is that I have been so directed on "pitching" my stories, I'd gotten myself freaked out.

I'm not a person that can block out the stress and write through it. I'm trying to become that person, but right now, I let my worries, both tangible and not, get in the way.

Listen, I know agents and editors are just people. I'm blessed that I will have appointments with folks that share my faith. But to be honest, as I was scarfing down an unmentionable amount of Cheetos Puffs, I was getting worked up for no reason and Camy's contribution on Gina's blog brought me down to earth.

I am a Sophomore writer. (Check out Randy Ingermanson's article to find out what you are.) I am what Randy's paragraph describes. It will be much more useful to me to take my proposal, and simply talk to the editor/agent about it. I'll have a one-liner ready in case someone else asks me what I'm writing.

But I refuse - REFUSE - to get all worked up about some conference and ruin the opportunity in front of me. God willing, I'll make some friends, leave good, lasting impressions, and perhaps an editor or agent will request my work. Seizing these opportunities will help me grow as a writer, and get better.

Teach by Example

I'm learning this concept the hard way.

My two year old's stubborn spirit became evident early on. We marveled at how quickly she learned. She loved to watch Barney. Because we liked to keep her happy, we bought every DVD we could find of Barney. Downey got where she could tell us which Barney episode she wanted to watch AND insert that into the DVD player!

But like most toddlers, and children, they aren't receptive when it comes to doing what they're told. Singing the "Clean Up, Clean Up" song that was featured on a Barney episode soon wasn't enough to motivate my little one to clean up her mess. She'd rather leave the mess of toys or paper/crayons and go on to the next adventure.

Though spanking may work sometimes, I feel it should be an absolute last resort.

I realized this when Downey started hitting back.

Then I began to see the temper tantrums she was throwing. Standing there screaming, hands balled in tight fists, she'd let me know she was angry - real fast!

That's when I knew. My little angel had learned by example.

MY example.

Friends and family can be so sweet. "Christy," they say, "you're a good mother."

If only they knew how many times a day I fail! Downey gets her short temper from me! (And her father, he's not innocent in this at all!) If I had a nickel for every time during the day I stop what I'm doing - and send a sling-shot prayer up to God. "Please help me, Lord! Help me find patience! I know she's only two, but I know she realizes she's driving me crazy - And she's enjoying every minute of it!" - I'd be a woman with a whole lotta nickels!

So parents, just know every word you say, your little one is listening. If you say a curse word, you'd better believe your little angel is going to repeat it the very next day. If you lose your temper, your little one is going to act out his/her frustrations in the same manner.

This weekend, I explained to Downey we don't always get our way. At Sunday school, Downey's friend, Carley, stole her chair and then took Downey's toy. I feel I'm in a difficult spot - because I don't see everything that's happening with these kids. I miss the Carley took my toy part, or the Downey took my doll part. I'm having a hard time because I'm not just Downey's mom, who wants to defend her as much as possible, I'm also the teacher and will be fair to all the kids. I see my daughter isn't always right, just like me.

I'm learning about discipline (the how tos and what nots)right along with her.

I am helping Grandma realize she must use a firm tone with Downey to show our stubborn two year old that hitting Grandma is not acceptable.

Downey is not a Holy Terror. Let me assure you of this. She is a sweet child, who knows what the Bible looks like and is. She sings "Jesus Loves Me" and Barney's "I Love You, You Love Me" song. She is learning to share. She has a sweet, tender side, that's demonstrated in the way she cares for her dolls, feeds them, loves them. She loves her family and talks about them often, even when its been weeks that she hasn't seen Aunt Kari, Uncle Blake and Cousin Landon. She looks forward to going to Nana's and seeing Cousin Savannah. She loves Grandma, Paw-Paw, and Chelsea.

It's times like this that I know I'm not screwing my child up totally. I realize something I'm doing during the day is right, even though I look over the house and the laundry's still piled up, half-folded, there are dishes in the sink, and I'm stressed because I've wasted my writing time and haven't accomplished any of my goals for the day.

Yet, I'll never be able to return to these days when Downey lets me hold her and we watch her favorite "The Big Comfy Couch" program. (She hates for me to read to her! Gasp!)

The days when all we worry about is if we're going to go outside and play on the swing set or blow bubbles will soon be gone.

I'm trying to remember God put Downey in my life for a reason. I don't know what tomorrow will bring, so I need to cherish every moment. Don't sweat the small stuff and laugh when all I want to do is cry. I need to look into her eyes, touch her tiny fingers, and remember time goes way too fast.

Teach by example, and be the best example possible.

Stressed

Stressed.

I know its the reason I can't work on my book.

The money is diminishing.

What does budget mean?

We need to learn.

Maybe I want to go back to work. But I'd feel guilty putting my little stink bomb in day care. I want to write. I want to write articles, be a freelancer. I want to be published

But there is no money in this profession. There's no promise of success. The ladder up is murky.

Why do it?

I could go back to the desk job. I could put my headset on and call people who must have it worse than me. Their basement is flooded. Their house burned down.

yes, they have it much worse.

no, I don't want to go back to the desk job.

Maybe I've got Mom Shock.
Go from working a full time job since I was eighteen to staying home at 30. We didn't know what budget meant back then.

I love staying home, but it's a different world. How to adjust?

I have departed from old friends and found new ones.

Old irritants compound with every connection. Yet I see slivers of hope. God opens my eyes, but Satan wants to shut them.

God give me patience!

God forgive my hateful words!

Lord Help Me to write for You and stop dwelling on me!

God, help me Hear You. . .

Only You, Lord.

What does Princess by day, Frog by night mean, anyway?

However early I start, from the first phone call or a trip to town, I'm "on".



The word Princess is used in jest.

Some days are better than others.

There are days when I feel confident and one would imagine a Princess must have several degrees of confidence to greet her public and assist in maintaining her castle.



Princess by day means my eye glasses are off and my contact lenses are in. My make up is done, even though it may be minimal. My smile is placed. My heart is joyful with love for the Lord of whom I strayed for some time. I am gracious and loving.



But some days I may feel a little Froggy.



Those are days you don't want to get out of your pjs. The eye glasses are worn all day. You've forgotten if you brushed your teeth. You're just you and you don't care who knows it.



I always notice the tree frogs come out at night. They sing loud and don't care if they're in tune or not. But they energize the night and that's all that matters.



This label on my blog is intended to be a creative outlet. I'm not going to worry if what I type makes sense.


I'll post what I feel for that day. It may be a memory. I may rant. It's my blog. I can do that.



But one thing I want to do every time I post is share a scripture.


I'm going to try, at least, I'll try...