no more

This weekend I decided I would stop writing. For good. No more effort. No more stress...

My reasoning was that I was too stressed trying to write. I have two young children and need to devote as much time as possible to them. I decided writing needed to take a back seat, that I would get to it when I got to it. I decided I would make a better effort at putting God first in my life, then wife, then mom, then daughter, then something else.... then focus on my 9-5 job I'm not liking very much right now.... then, writing would come in at a distant 52nd place... I felt good about my decision. Already, I felt like I had improved as a mom and a wife.

An hour later, something about the current story line I'm working on popped into my head and I realized that giving up writing may not be as easy as I thought.

What I've decided to change is my mindset. I'd turned my writing into something that had to be done, because I wanted it to be a business venture for me. The sad fact is that it isn't. This may never be a business venture for me. It may be a hobby until the day I die.

I joined a couple of writers organizations. I'm on a group blog that talks writing and everything else. I've entered/won contests. I opened Goodreads/Twitter/Facebook accounts to network with other writers, but found I can network all day long, but until I finish the book and really start querying, I have no chance. I have to turn the social media networks off to get anything done. My time is too limited to waste.

I see other people who are probably balancing as much or more than I am announce their publication contracts. I'm happy for them, but when I see the new author is someone like me, in my own rotten flesh I am jealous because I wish that were me. I can't see the end of this road but I'm not sure I want to. What good will come if I am published? A check? Recognition? Don't I realize that with publication comes its own set of problems? Don't I have enough problems? Why add more?

So I have to stop writing... for the reasons to become published... for the goal of making a name for myself... I need to stop because its not helping me, its hurting me.

If I'm going to write, then it needs to be just for me.


Back to the love of writing because I'm creating a world of new problems that belong to someone else, where true loves always wins in the end, where the worst issues will be resolved and that on that last page, everyone will live Happily Ever After.....

No more effort to write for anyone else.

No more stress.

Comments

Misha said…
So true. It's vital to write for yourself first. If it's publishable, great! If it isn't... at least you did something you loved.

:-)

Good luck!
Vince said…
Hi Christy:

You can let go of writing, but writing might not let go of you.

I’ve read of many unpublished writers who stopped writing for years and then came back with a passion to publish book after book.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. You don’t have to write. Just quietly keep learning. Read books like a writer. Write meaningful reviews that are genuine learning experiences. When you are ready, when you get to the top of the mountain, everything will look different.

Peace.

Vince
Sarah Forgrave said…
Wow, Christy, I feel like I could have written this post. I'm struggling with the same questions right now...wondering if I should back off and make writing a hobby for a few years while my children are young. But every time I think that, I get a confirmation that I'm doing the right thing, whether it be a request from an agent or an email or card from a friend.

I'm still trying to figure it all out. One day at a time. That's all we can do, right? :)

Enjoy your time away from the "business" of writing! :)
Tami Brothers said…
Hey girl! You do what you need to do. Seriously. Life happens. Most of the time it doesn't happen the way we plan it and that's okay.

I've been in a similar situation and am still fighting back. Keep your focus and this will all come together.

Hugs!

Tami
Tami Brothers said…
I forgot to mention that you are actually the third person I talked to this week that has come to this very same conclusion. Just know that you are NOT alone.

:-)
Christy LaShea said…
Hey, all,
Thanks for your advice and your support! Glad I'm not alone in this!
Title Loans said…
You can't write if you're not in love with it. Life happens, and it's completely understandable. Everyone has to re-evaluate their priorities in life; and at this time, yours are not in the writing way. Best of luck, hope your hiatus isn't TOO long :)
Ava

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