Rambling and waiting

I've never been an organized soul.

I like to think there's organization among my mess.

Sometimes, I get upset with my husband when he comes home and the house is in a bit of chaos and he asks: "What have you done today?"

He isn't buying my excuse that our toddler is wild and keeps me going. I mean, she does do that, but she also isn't awake 24-7 like I like to encourage him to believe.

My friend Mindy is blogging about wasting time on the F.A.I.T.H. blog today. All I could comment was "Ditto" to the entire post.

Everything she said was ~right on~ with me.

I mean, I've got friends who have spotless houses, who seem to have everything in order, but sometimes I wonder. Do they really? What's their Achilles heel?

For me, I say I'm a wanna-be writer, so all of my free time is spent conjuring up new stories. Who has time to cook or clean when I'm busy burning out the keyboard and my computer's smoking with all my new stories.

In my dreams, publishing houses are banging down my door, agents can't get contracts to me fast enough and editors are swearing there's nothing they'd change on my manuscript. My name is in lights. I'm flying in on a helicopter to my next book signing where thousands wait for me to arrive to buy my book. . .

Sheesh ~

My dreams sure are full of --it, aren't they?

Yuck. I can handle daydreaming things like that happening, but it isn't pretty to read it in black and white.

And realize I'm going to push the "publish" button and allow others to read it.

Maybe that's why I've been unable to write for several weeks.

Okay, months.

My ego needs a recheck.

Maybe God's trying to get me to open my ears to Him. It just took a bad cold for me and my daughter, illness happening in my family, to get me to open my heart to Him again and listen.

I'm listening, Lord.

I'm waiting.

My faith is in You.